Sunday, July 10, 2016

X-Files: Kitsunegari 'Shipper Survey

I have to note this upcoming survey was for a pretty weak episode. A sequel to one of the best episodes "Pusher", this was an unwelcome follow-up to what had been a powerful stand-alone Monster of the Week story. It wasn't particularly inventive with the plot or the twists and scary deaths. So if the survey seems flat, the episode was flat.

Oh, one other thing: I like the color blue, but I liked it waaaaaaaaay before I even started watching the Cerulean-Files. Uh, I mean X-Cerulean. Uh, is a gentle breeze. Wait. WAIT MY MIND IS MY CERULEAN BLUUUUUUUeeeee (drools)

X-Files Senseless 'Shipper Survey: KITSUNEGARI

: SPOILER Space for those who watched Babylon 5 instead...

: In SPOILER SPACE noone can hear you say "I'm fine, Mulder"...;-)

1) As the episode opened with the first look at the blankless stare of Robert Patrick Modell, the Pusher, your first thought was:

A) "Gee, he looks about as emotional as all of the characters are going to get this episode!"

B) "Cerulean! Cerruuuuuulean..."

C) "Oh, BOY! More hand-holding by Dana and Fox!!!"

2) As Mulder, Scully, and Skinner detailed the search team on the hunt for the escaped Pusher, did you:

A) Want Scully to finish off the speech-making with a Psalm quote and a hearty "Let's go get that bastard!"

B) Find yourself flashing back to that Babylon 5 episode where...oh, wait, cerulean...cerruuuuulean...

C) Wait for the officers to leave so Dana and Fox can get close and whisper their thoughts and theories to each other in a highly romantic setting like somewhere behind the boiler

3) As they found the prosecutor dead of paint ingestion, you found yourself focusing on:

A) The byzantine, surreal Japanese writing on the wall, hinting at the darkness to come against our heroes

B) The paint was cerulean blue! Cerulean.......

C) The fact Dana knows what a wedding ring looks like, and hope that prefigures something to come...(deep sigh)

4) As Mulder stumbled away from his confrontation with Modell, a blank expression on his face, did you:

A) Want Scully to slap him right then and there

B) Wonder if he's switching the color of his Speedos from red to cerulean blue...cerulean...

C) Want Dana to hug him and console him and tell him he'll be fine and then (deleted to protect sensitive X-Philers)

5) When Mulder determined that the prosecutor's wife (I call her Pushyr) was the real culprit even though Scully disagreed and Skinner ordered him off the case, did you:

A) say to yourself "What the hell has gotten into you, Punk?!"

B) mutter "brush...paint...cerulean..."

C) run screaming from the room yelling "Oh GOD NO! THE RIFT! THE RIFT!!!"

6) As the physical therapist calmly reached for the fuse box, your first thought was:

A) "Oh MY GOD! Her's name's really Kenny! You bastards!!!!"

B) You had no thoughts... your mind is blank expect for the color blue... ceruuulean blue...

C) "Scully, I had to call and check on you. By the way, does your cell phone have a surge protector?..."

7) As Pushyr came to visit Pusher in the hospital, as Modell slowly died under the watch of his sisterly feminine half, did you:

A) Wonder why this was the most emotional moment in an otherwise flat and unemotional episode

B) Think only of... you know the color by now!!!

C) Hope that Fox will recognize and accept his feminine half in Dana and finally quit his job, settle down with Dana on a small farm in Montana, and raise an army of Emily hybrids

8) When Mulder watched "Scully" shoot herself in the warehouse, your first thought was:

A) "That'll never happen! The Enigmatic One can never be pushed!!!"

B) -blank stare-

C) "NOOO! Now Fox is stuck with the UNiBlonder!!! NOOOOO!"

9) As the real Scully shot the real Pushyr standing behind Mulder, your reaction was:

A) "At last! Scully gets to shoot a blonde!!!"

B) Standing at attention and singing "Inna Gadda Da Vida" in German. I have no idea why.

C) Sigh with relief that Fox had enough sense to hold his fire and that Dana had enough practice with her aim!

10) As the episode ended, with Mulder pondering a possible defeat even though he won Pushyr's game, your final thought was:

A) "He would feel that way. Everybody's emotions have been whacked out of orbit this episode..."

B) "I will avenge my mistress Pushyr upon you... cerulean... ceruuuuuulean..."

C) "Oh NO! He's referring to the RIFT!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!...." (weeps uncontrollably)

If you more often than not answered:

A) Then you are an OBSSEr who's confused by all the emotionless acting this episode

B) Then you are a mind-slave of the Pushyr and will paint your house/ apartment/ college dorm cerulean blue before getting dragged off by the OBSSErs assigned to capture all of Pushyr's victims

C) Then you are a 'Shipper terrified of one unmentionable plot development...that...that...NOOOOO, the RIFT IS RETURNING! (runs) (hides) (watches the dance scene from Post-Modern Prometheus to stay sane)

Just remember, kids: Cerulean Blue is a gentle breeze... a gentle breeeeeeeeze... CEERRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUULEAN...


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