Tuesday, October 27, 2015

X-Files: Mind's Eye 'Shipper Survey

To be fair this isn't a very 'Shippy episode because Scully isn't in it that much (story was she was busy re-filming scenes for a movie), but it's been awhile since I posted a survey and with NaNoWriMo coming up I have NO TIME to write any fresh surveys so I'm pulling from Season Five reviews...  Sorry.  NOW GO WRITE 50,000 WORDS FOR YOUR NOVEL!  Ack, I'm a Municipal Liaison this year so I gotta motivate writers.

Anywho, survey time.  All answers should be in the form of a question, such as "Do you, Agent Dana take Agent Fox to be your one and only Moose...?"

Senseless 'Shipper Survey - Mind's Eye

1) As the episode begins we see a young woman living a grungy life in Delaware. Suddenly, she gets psychic flashes of someone dying. This leads up to police officers entering a trashed hotel finding a dead body and a cowering figure in the shower stall. They pull back the curtain to reveal the young woman is Lili Taylor, Cult Movie Goddess from such art films as "Dogfight" and "The Addiction". You note:

A) That, given her psychic abilities and spiritual coolness, she would qualify for her own religion...sigh...

B) That you've got a major crush for brunettes...sigh...

C) That there's no sign of Dana or Fox, and that no one has held hands yet...sigh...

Our Gen-X actresses had CLASS, dammit

2) We get a slide show presentation of the murder scene, the victim, and the suspect. But there are two catches: one is that the suspect is blind, the other is that Scully is doing the slide show presentation. This leads you to conclude:

A) That Scully is expert enough to handle audiovisual equipment, meaning she should get her own desk

B) That Lili looks really cute with those straight-ahead photo shots but ought to work on her over-the-shoulder look

C) That Dana and Fox should kick the detective out of the office and use the light projector to perform some erotic hand puppet show

3) Mulder and Scully get to interview the blind woman, whose name is Marty. You note:

A) That Scully most likely drove the car here

B) Lili's named after Mulder's alter ego? That is so...arousing...

C) That Fox is looking at Marty the wrong way...NOooooo...the RIFT!...

4) Lili Taylor acts like a real smart-ass during the first interrogation, but does it in a real cool, hip way, leading Mulder to say this about her "perfecting her poor blind girl stand-up routine." You note:

A) That Gillian's got the deadpan delivery for stand-up routines, given the number of off-the-wall SREs (Standard Rational Explanations to you noobs) she's had to memorize over the years

B) That Mulder's got Lili Taylor confused with Janeane Garofalo, yet another caustic-yet-cool brunette who's great at stand-up routines...hmm, Lili AND Janeane...deep sigh...

C) That Dana and Fox haven't held hands yet this episode, and we're already closing in on the second commercial break...something's wrong here...

5) While examining Marty's blindness with visual-stimuli testing, her "vision" causes a bizarre reaction, leading Scully to ponder a Rational Explanation that sounded so irrational you can't even remember it. This leaves you to ponder:

A) That the poor Saint has been distracted by her quest for a desk, forcing her to miss out reading up all those technical journals she needs in coming up with all these SREs.

B) That while Mulder and Scully are bickering about whether a blind girl can see, poor Lili's watching another victim get sliced and diced

C) That Dana and Fox have finally gotten around to flirting this episode...Thank God!...

6) Having been freed for lack of evidence, Marty is checking out her personal belongings and making sure her money's the way she left it. When the cop on duty snidely notes that he replaced all her tens with twentys because of her sweet disposition, you reply:

A) "Yeah, right. Hit him with a trout, Lili!"

B) "Sweet disposition? Lili?!? She's as brutal as they come, but hey that's what we love about her! Fugeddaboutit!..."

C) "Sigh...if only Fox would complement Dana about HER sweet disposition...sigh..."

7) Marty witnesses another murder, and this time confesses, but she uses the confession to interfere with the true killer's plan to sell drugs. Mulder pouts while Scully is off hand-delivering physical evidence for the crime labs. Lili Taylor puts her character through every conceivable emotion between her confession and her first confrontation (and "self-recognition") with the real killer. You take this all in by:

A) Guessing which movie it is that GA had to re-shoot when this episode was being filmed

B) Trying to find a Lili Taylor web site so you can make sure her fans know she kicked ass in this episode

C) Crying because Dana isn't there to console Fox

8) Mulder has figured out the connection between Marty and the killer. The killer is the same one who killed Marty's mother, who killed all the others and who left his blood on a glove Scully found at the first crime scene (please refrain from making OJ jokes until the survey is completed). Mulder knows the killer is Marty's father. As she and the audience reels from that knowledge, you respond by:

A) Noting it was Scully who found the bloody glove, it was her that works her butt off solving these cases, and she does it all for you, Mulder! You you you!

B) Humming the theme to "Empire Strikes Back" and noting that Mulder (and in a lesser extent Scully) has a problem with father figures too

C) Waiting for Dana to show up to console Fox, only because it would be nice to see that...deep sigh...

9) We see what Marty sees through the killer's eyes as he comes to kill her, and we see how she handles her final confrontation with her father: she stands up, points a gun towards the killer/herself/the audience, whispers "I hate the way you look at me," and pulls the trigger. Your primary thought is:

A) "She needs to work on her aim...Scully would've taught her how to aim for the shoulder..."

B) "No! Lili! Don't hate us for looking at you like that! Nooooooooooooo..."

C) "Thankfully, Dana doesn't hate the way Fox looks at her...deep sigh..."

10) Marty ends up in jail, guilty of the crime of killing the true Monster Of The Week. Mulder arrives to see how she's doing, and she notes of how she saw the ocean through her father's eyes and that now it is the only vision she can remember. Mulder cracks a joke at the expense of the Ice Capades and holds her hands along the jail bars. Your final thought is:

A) "Dammit! I know Gillian's off filming additional movie scenes, but that means there's no Enigmatic One around to keep the Punk in line!"

B) "The only way Lili Taylor doesn't get the Emmy for Best Guest Actress is if Posey Parker or whatever her name is makes a cameo on NYPD Blue..."

C) "Noooooo, Fox, you should be holding hands with Dana right now...in her apartment...with a bottle of red wine chilling nearby...talking about bad prom nights..."

If you more often than not answered:

A) Then you are a member of the OBSSE who's mailing a membership application to Lili Taylor so she can sign up and hang out with other cool, smart people

B) Then you are a lot like me, a X-Philer who'll always look at GA but still think of Lili...deep sigh...

C) Then you are a 'Shipper who's worried Fox held Marty's hands this episode and not Dana's...NOOOOOOOoooooooo...

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